I think that each one of us has an internal Point Of No Return (PONR); that threshold which once crossed, drops all that came before completely away, leaving nothing upon which to look back.
My PONR is apathy – I No Longer Care. I can see it looming before me – a giant doorframe through which the “Me” that I am now will be irrevocably gone. I may still seem like “Me”, some will notice no difference; some who know me extremely well may see the change, but it will not be the “Me” of today. I fear this point because I like the “Me” of today (a product of so many years and experiences and revelations both old and new) and I don’t want to be come the “Other Me”.
“Other Me” is detached from almost all she knows. She is a constricted person, eschewing everything deemed unessential by her standards. This makes her cold, merciless, not inclined to give any grace. “Other Me” has no gray in her life – there is absolute black and white – Me/Us and Them, where all “Them” are nothing. That nothingness, that apathy is the vastness of space, devoid of stars, and I find myself not unwilling to allow this. I will keep the few I care about and all else will be nothing to me.
It’s hard for me to think that I can exist in such a state; to have complete antipathy for another’s suffering or joy. To deliberately blind myself to humanity. So what brings me here? A number of things.
The redefinition of race as a state of virtue or evil (not virtue so much, as ever-suffering victim, from which there can be no reprieve until the evil is eradiacted).
The denial of womanhood. My actual existence defined by those who don’t even want me to exist.
The defining of humanity as an existential evil and threat to this planet, out home, which would be better off if we were all dead – and so pushes for this.
The one common theme that ties all of this together is death. The progressive governments and their minions are devoted to Death. It permeates everything. Their highest sacrament is abortion; highest form of governance is collectivism; their virtues are subjugation, antitheism, sociopathy, and priviledge. These are the Party of Death, clothed in “tolerance, equity, respect”. The cost of defiance: death.
I feel myself losing despair. I feel the apathy growing, the need to call out warnings, to plead for my neighbors to open their eyes and see the horror building around them is waning. I am getting to the point where I don’t care what happens to them. The are becoming “Them”.
I’m close to the point where I can’t spare a thought for Them.
Wannabe Martha 